Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden
"Money can’t make you happy"
WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD
I’m honestly so glad high school is over
Need a change of scenery and some new faces in my life ASAP
"Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived yet. Live in the present and make it beautiful."
A phrase I learned during Senior retreat but have forgotten about since then.
With college coming right around the corner, I realized something - that when I start UCSB in the Fall, in so many aspects of my life, I have to prove people wrong.
When I tell people I’m going to UCSB, the first thing I hear is that it’s a party school. Despite me being a chemistry major, despite my desire to succeed, despite what I try to tell people, the stigma of the party reputation at Santa Barbara is not something that’s easy to shed.
When I tell people that I’m going to stay in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, the first thing I hear is that it’s hard. People tell me how difficult it is, how painful it is, but then of course throw in the ever-so-encouraging, “but some people can do it!”
With all the time I’ve been spending alone lately, I’ve realized that when I enter college this fall and as I continue my relationship, I’ll have to prove so many people wrong. But honestly? I can’t wait. I think I’ve gotten past the point of being defensive and angry. I could sit here all day and tell everyone how prestigious and highly ranked UCSB actually is - how it’s a top leading research university with 5 nobel peace prize winners on its faculty, how beautiful it is, etc. But no one cares. I could sit here all day and tell everyone how my boyfriend and I have been through so much - how at 18, both of us have probably gone through things together that no other couple our age has, how we’ve been such a monumental part of each other’s lives for the past 7 years, etc. But no one cares. Everyone has their pretenses, their judgement, and their ideas, and the words that come out of my mouth will have no impact on what they believe in.
At the end of the day, all I have to prove to people is my actions. I am determined more than ever in college to regain my focus - to become the hardworking student I know I am, and to put my education first. I want to sit there at graduation at the end of four years, maybe even three, and prove people wrong. I want to prove to people that I took advantage of the wonderful things UCSB has to offer and that I made it out successfully and confidently. I want to sit there with my boyfriend the day that we are no longer in a long distance relationship, the day that we’ll finally be living in the same place again, and give a big “fuck you” to anyone who ever doubted us.
So, the next time someone tells me I’m going to a party school or the next time someone laughs at the fact that I’m going to be in a long distance relationship, I’ll laugh and tell them to wait and see. I’m going to go and do, and nothing - no reputation, no stigma, no distance - is going to stop me.
The crew at Steph’s grad party feat. chairs 😂 #CBA2010